The Most Fruitful Place to Invest Your Energy
I’m an absolute sucker for personality quizzes and assessments, both classic and new. Always have been.
Myers-Briggs was my gateway drug into the world of personality types and self-understanding, thanks to my dad. I remember taking it for the first time, and feeling bowled over by the accuracy of those results. While my exact MBTI type has changed since I first took it as a preteen (I’m an INFJ these days) I still find a real sense of home in that personality description – and I like to revisit and reread it when I need some extra reminding and reassurance.
The “I” in my Myers Briggs type is one I come back to and think about a lot. After proudly owning my ‘extrovert’ designation as a kid, I resisted my new ‘introvert’ label for a while – mainly because I didn’t totally understand it at first. I made that leap (like so many do) that introverts are somehow antisocial or chilly, which didn’t feel like me.
But in typical Type-A fashion, I obsessed and I Googled and I read stuff on the internet, until I found in writing what I already knew was true: that I love being around (the right) people, and I absolutely crave connection.
As true people-people – whether your circle of friends and loved ones is tightly knit, or more expansive – we take the task of nurturing our relationships seriously.
As big-hearted people, we’re wired for building strong, meaningful connections that last – and we love it!
Think of the people in your innermost circle. Chances are, they occupy a certain amount of permanent real estate in your mind, heart, and consciousness. You keep an eye out for opportunities to show them you care, or that you’re thinking of them. You love the feeling of knowing and understanding them so well, and the level of trust that makes it safe to let them really know you, too.
That type of relationship – with a friend, a partner, or family member – is the dream, right? Sure, we pour a lot into them, but we’re happy to. Because we’re building a foundation that feels mutually solid and supportive. We’re cultivating the kind of connection that really restores us, lifts us up, and feels like a breath of fresh air.
But here’s another thing I’ve learned: no matter how strong the relationships are that we’ve built, we’re still talking about another human being – someone with other relationships to nurture, a job, other demands on their schedule and energy, unpredictable good-and-bad days, changing emotional states and energetic capacity… the list goes on.
Even with the best of intentions and the full weight of their commitment to your relationship, life happens. And putting all our eggs in a dynamic, beyond-our-control basket is putting ourselves in an unnecessarily dicey position, emotionally. (Not to mention, putting the full weight of those expectations and pressures on another person isn’t really fair to them, either.)
When we invest all our time, energy, and trust in external relationships, we’re planting our emotional roots into soil we have limited control over.
So then, what’s the solution? How do we fully lean into our our natural desire and ability to build strong, meaningful relationships – but without leaving ourselves too vulnerable, or reliant on someone else’s ability to give us what we need (emotionally and otherwise)?
My lightbulb-moment answer to this question came within the last year or so - and it has honestly changed the way I live, love, and structure my time. It informs almost everything I do, and for the better.
I believe wholeheartedly that the most important and rewarding relationship you can invest in is the one that lays the groundwork for everything you do, has endless potential to support you, and will pay off in spades you your whole life: your relationship with yourself.
I've learned through trial and error that building, cultivating, and maintaining a rich and vibrant relationship with yourself is an absolute must; the process is fulfilling, the yields are infinite, and the result is having more to give in our other relationships and endeavors. It's no coincidence that this belief is at the core of my brand shift.
The ‘how’s for building this relationship are limitless, exciting, and full of incredible potential – which is why moving forward, you’ll find posts here on all kinds of topics from health and wellness, creativity, introspection, growth and learning, connection, and even how to harness our natural sensitivity.
They all have a common thread: they’re all branches of how to build a sturdy, vibrant, lasting relationship with yourself. One that grounds you, and nourishes you. One that will support you indefinitely, and give you the strength and abundance to give generously in all those other places in your life where you want to show up wholeheartedly.
It's an investment worth making, and one that will ask for your energy and commitment for the rest of your life. But I promise, for every ounce you're willing and able to pour in, you'll see returns in spades.
Instead of a challenge for you this week, I’d love to ask your opinion.
This idea of how to build a strong relationship with yourself, what that looks like, and how it benefits us has me incredibly excited for what’s to come in this space. I’d love to know:
How would you rate, your relationship with yourself as it stands right now?
Is there a particular area where you’d like to grow or pay more attention? (Nurturing your creativity? Taking care of your body? Regular introspection?)
Is this something you’re interested in digging into more?
I’d really, truly love your feedback. You can use the button below to drop me a quick line with your knee-jerk reactions, or feel free to shoot me an email or a DM on Instagram. Whatever feels easy.