One of the most important lessons I learned from this chapter of my life is that sometimes when life’s stresses start to feel like too much, leaning on an unbiased third party with professional training is the best thing we can do for ourselves. Here are 5 things about therapy I wish I’d known much sooner, to help me move through some common barriers to access and get the help I needed.Read More
We all know that feeling: you’ve been cruising along fine until suddenly, you realize you’ve fallen out of love with some part of your reality. We all know what it’s like to need a change, even when we have no idea how to make it happen. And it’s true that there are no magic words you can say out loud that flip some cosmic switch, or make the ‘perfect thing’ fall right into your lap. But there is real magic that happens when you start saying the thing you want out loud.Read More
I say this all the time, and anyone who knows me well will recognize it: for me, there’s no worse feeling in the world than ‘stuck in a place I don’t want to be, with no way out.’ It’s why I hesitate to say ‘yes’ to new, unfamiliar things I haven’t vetted first; it’s why I like to map out plans ahead of time, and mitigate the risk of getting caught off guard; and it’s why I absolutely hate feeling pressured to do something, when I can feel myself resisting it. But like most people, I’ve also learned that venturing out into new, unfamiliar situations can be a great way to stretch and grow as a person.Read More
When we talk about being self-aware or in-tune with ourselves, I think we tend to think of it mostly as a mental and emotional thing. Personally, I’ve always felt like a pretty self-aware person – and most of that work feels like it happens in my mind. Sorting out our feelings, dissecting them, making decisions, finding our boundaries, trying to decide what feels ‘good’ or ‘bad’ in a relationship or at a job … it’s all very cerebral.Read More
Last weekend, Joe and I watched the movie Lady Bird, and I felt a whole lot of feelings (which may or may not have included at least one instance of spontaneous surprise-sobbing). That’s not shocking, to be honest – not only am I a walking ball of feelings, but it’s also a movie packed with stories and themes that hit particularly close to home.Read More
At our core, we are creatures of comfort.
That fact plays a huge role in why we resist change, and why we struggle to leave or change our circumstances when they are mediocre at best (and at worst, destructive for our health and wellbeing).Sure, there may be better options out there, but they’re unknowns! Giant question marks! At least where-you-are-now is a known quantity.Read More
You know those questions that pop up in your mind, and then refuse to leave? The ones that get your wheels turning about possibilities, and won’t leave you alone? Am I happy at this job? Should I go back to school? Am I getting what I need in this relationship? Am I ready to take ____ leap?
At first, the question seems innocent enough. “Everyone has thoughts like this. They don’t necessarily mean anything.” But then instead of just fluttering away like so many other thoughts we have throughout the day, this one starts to feel sticky. It orbits you mind, and softly pesters you for an answer.Read More
It sounds so obvious, but I was reminded last week that ‘meh’ days really are unavoidable. They just happen, and nobody's exempt. Sometimes I forget that it shouldn't be the goal to feel ‘great’ every minute of every day - not only is that expectation completely unrealistic, but it also comes with lots of unfair pressure. It sets us up to feel like we somehow fell short, or ‘did it wrong’ when a ‘meh’ day comes along – and those days are already enough of a bummer without the added shame of feeling like you somehow failed yourself.Read More