Posts in Healthy Relationships
Swing Like a Pendulum to Find Balance

I’ve been dwelling a lot recently on the connection between holding firm to our personal boundaries, and the negative energy that can sometimes come with it.

We talk a lot here about the importance of defining, articulating, and holding firm to our boundaries.  And through one lens, these things might look and feel liberating and empowering. (That’s the goal!) But through another, that same list of ideas can feel rigid, negative, or even standoffish and defensive. Say ‘no’ more often. Defend your boundaries. Be aware of when you’re not feeling respected or nourished, and be prepared to fight to fix it. Blegh.

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Showing Compassion Doesn't Require Rescuing Anyone

I can’t be the only one who, in a tense conversation, has desperately wished the other person’s thoughts would just appear above their head in a little cartoony bubble.

For being such an important part of building thriving, healthy relationships, communication sure is a muddy skill to master. First, there’s the challenge of articulating our piece – finding the right words, sharing them in the right tone, and putting both through the right filters to make sure we’re approaching the situation with focus and sensitivity. Then on top of that, we also have to master the art of being on the receiving end of the dialogue – how to really listen, how to relate to and make sense of new information, and how to frame our responses.

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It Can Make Sense, and Still Not Be Right for You

One of the greatest strengths of being a deep feeler is the ability to keenly understand other people’s experiences and points of view.

As natural feelers, we can imagine what it’s like to experience what someone else is going through, which enriches our ability to connect with them in a meaningful way.  We can see ourselves in a stranger’s story, and take on the weight of their feelings in a way that’s hard to explain to someone who doesn’t naturally do the same. We can start to dismantle the wall that separates us from them.

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Creating Space for Nourishing Relationships

If you and I are anything alike, you’ve spent the first days of the new year enjoying the fresh, new energy a new year brings - and maybe even wondering what to do with it.

The beauty of a new year, after all, is in the whole ‘fresh start’ thing. We assess what’s working and what isn’t (habits, possessions, etc.) so we can ditch the ones that don’t serve us and embrace the ones that make us do and be and feel more of what we want. More working out, less mindless scrolling. More veggies, less junk. More order, less stress. By doing so, we shed a layer of stuff that no longer aligns with who we are or how we want to feel, and instead we make space for more of the things that do. It’s such a refreshing process, isn’t it?

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Are You Settling for a Supporting Role in Your Own Life?

Ron Weasley. Gretchen Weiners. Samwise Gamgee. We love them for so many reasons, namely because it’s hard not to. They’re loyal, supportive, lovably awkward, and frankly, most of us can identify with the fact that some of their best qualities go somewhat unnoticed or unappreciated. They’re entirely relatable - but it might be time to dig a little deeper into the why.

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How to Start Hard Conversations

Communication is constant, and it fuels our lives. We bond with people we love by sharing thoughts and stories and encouragement. We connect with strangers by talking about common interests or shared experiences. Communication happens all the time, and often it’s so organic that we don’t even realize consciously that it’s happening.

But then there are those other times that call for a big, or difficult, or uncomfortable conversations. And those are the situations where “communication” almost-universally freaks people the hell out.

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