I’ve always been happiest when there’s harmony in my life: with my partner, friends and family, my professional colleagues, and in my inner world. And as someone who’s also always been pretty good with words, I believed for a long time that my superpower was my ability to smooth things over in my relationships. 

I thought by knowing the ‘right’ things to say and how to say them, I could dodge conflict altogether. My secret goal in life was to expertly manage other people’s reactions and perceptions of me, to keep my relationships feeling happy, healthy, and conflict-free—and above all, to keep myself safe from pain.

And like many of us, I learned early that taking one for the team and subtly bumping my own needs further and further down my list was a great way to seem likable and keep the peace.

But the more I built a habit of doing that, the more anxious, disconnected, and resentful I felt.

I’d always seen difficult conversations as a last resort — they made me incredibly anxious, and I was willing to do a lot of quiet suffering and emotional gymnastics to avoid them. But at some point, I realized there was no way around them if I ever wanted to be truly seen, known, and self-actualized. 

It finally clicked: the same conversations I’d been avoiding could actually set me free.

The more I became willing to try engaging in tough conversations about things that mattered to me, the more I saw how building those muscles helped me be an agent for real change in my own life, and in the world—not by finding a diplomatic way to wiggle out of hard conversations, but by learning to step into them with more clarity, confidence, and a sense of possibility (even when it meant weathering some short-term discomfort).

And I want to help you do the same.